Monday, August 30, 2010

Sizzling Summer

           “Hot enough for ya?”                                         
            It’s 101 degrees F in the shade, not including the humidity index. The water in the neighborhood pool is hotter than a 16-year-old’s showers that set off the smoke detector when he finally opens the bathroom door. You get 1st degree burns touching the steering wheel if you leave your minivan in the parking lot at the mall for more than 3 minutes. I swear to you I saw a squirrel using a leaf to fan himself this morning.
            The clerk ringing up my cart of groceries is waiting patiently for my response. A few snarky answers spring to mind.
 “No, I’ve been thinking of moving to Venus, so I’ll be closer to the sun.”
“Not really. I’m waiting for it to get really hot before I turn on the air conditioner in my house.”
“Not quite. The steaks I cooked on the sidewalk last night were too rare for my taste. A few more degrees and they would have been a perfect medium.”
There is a thin veneer that hides the real me. My parents can check off the block on the official parenting list that reads “Teach Manners to Child.” Done.
I smile back at the clerk. “Yup. It sure is hot enough for me today. Thanks for asking.”
Please help. I’m looking for a few more snarky comments to add to my list. Is it hot enough for you?