Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Exercising is my favorite activity. Not!

            “I bought a Wii-fit yesterday.”

            “Really?” Gloria asked. “I’ve been thinking about getting one. Do you like it?”

            I dunked my bread into the olive oil/pepper mixture and popped it into my mouth. I nodded. Saturday lunch at the Macaroni Grill with girlfriends. Life doesn’t get much better than that.

            “What kind of stuff can you do on it?” Linda wanted to know.

            I swallowed the bread and took a sip of sweet tea. “I tried the Yoga program, and then did some skiing. Oh, and there was this cool game where you’re in a little air bubble, and you have to float down the river without running into anything and popping the bubble.”

            “Do you fall into the water if your bubble pops?” Marilyn asked.

            “Uh huh,” I answered and we all laughed. “Of course, if my avatar wasn’t so fat, my bubble wouldn’t have to be so big. It might be easier to do. I only made it 25 yards before falling in.”

            “Why did you make a fat avatar?” Gloria frowned. “Isn’t that bad for your self-esteem?”

            “Wii-fit makes your avatar for you,” I explained. “The board is actually a scale that calculates your weight and your body mass index. Then it makes your avatar look like your body.”

            The three faces staring at me wore identical horrified expressions.

            “My avatar is shaped like a pear,” I confessed. “A very large pear.”

            “You’re kidding.” Gloria got right to the point, as she always does. “You paid money for that?”

            “Well, I just kind of try to ignore it,” I replied, dipping another piece of bread into the oil and handing the bread board to Gloria. “Since I stopped teaching to write full-time, I’m not very active. I sit at the computer a lot. I just wanted something that would help me get some exercise.”

            “Does it give you any encouragement?” Linda tried to hide her smile, but wasn’t very successful. She is much more disciplined than I am, and she actually goes to the gym regularly. I like her in spite of that.

            “Sure. It tells me I’m doing a great job. It even tells me how many calories I burn during my exercise session.”

            “How long did you exercise yesterday?” Marilyn questioned.

            “About 30 minutes.”

            “That’s good,” Marilyn congratulated me. They all knew me well enough to know that that was 30 minutes longer than I’d exercised any day this month. “You must have burned quite a few calories in that time.”

            “Absolutely,” I answered enthusiastically. “The Wii-fit is very good about telling you how many calories you burn in your work-out sessions.”

            My friends smiled at me, and waited for it.

            “I burned exactly…15 calories.”

            “No way,” Gloria spluttered.

            “Way,” I solemnly swore.

            “You can burn more calories than that walking up the stairs,” Linda exclaimed.

            “I know, right? Hey, anybody want to share dessert with me? They have an awesome cheesecake.”

            Gloria grinned. “You’re nuts, girl.”

            “I don’t see why we shouldn’t splurge a little,” I chuckled. “I’m so not worried about calories anymore. I can burn off 15 calories on my Wii-fit any time I want. You should really get one.”


  1. The soccer ball heading activity is fun, too. And don't forget the skiing down the ice trail. That's fun right up until the motion sickness sets in. ;)

  2. I kept getting hit with the shoes when I tried to head the soccer balls. Got a terrible headache!