“Hold on just a minute, OK?”
The sound of tinkling came from the stall next to mine.
“Ah, that’s better. No, you’re right. I don’t know what he was thinking.”
“Giving you a new set of steak knives for your third wedding anniversary is outrageous.”
There was a pause, then the sound of toilet tissue being unwound from the roll.
“I don’t care if you needed the knives; that’s not the kind of gift a man gives his wife for an anniversary.”
Foot shuffling and an exasperated sigh.
“Hold on again, will you?”
“What? Oh, I’m in the ladies’ room at Neiman-Marcus. Yeah, at the Lenox Mall. No, it’s OK. I’m almost done.”
I racked my brain for the proper etiquette for this particular situation. I was finished and I wanted to go wash my hands. What would Miss Manners have me do? Flush and apologize for interrupting the woman’s phone conversation or simply wait? Tough call.
“Well, I suppose if you really like the steak knives, then there isn’t a problem. It just seems to me…”
She finally flushed; I did the same. Unfortunately, she simply raised her voice over the loud whooshing.
“…that you should at least tell him that knives aren’t a very romantic gift, so he understands that you’re upset.”
She came out of the stall and stood at the sink next to mine. She flashed a brief smile at me in the mirror and then held her right hand under the water and applied soap. She rinsed off the soap, and pushed the button on the hand dryer with her right elbow.
“I can hear you. I’m just drying my hands. What did he say when he gave them to you?”
I waited to see if she was going to come back and wash the left hand that held the hot pink cell phone firmly to her ear.
She didn’t. Instead, she pushed open the door with her backside and gestured to me to go ahead of her out the door. “I think he’s taking you for granted. You don’t think he’s having an affair, do you? That would be….”
I waited for a heartbeat to see which way she was going to go, and when she decided to take the Men’s Casual Wear route, I set off at a brisk pace toward the Fine Jewelry department in the opposite direction.
What a drag. The Neiman-Marcus restrooms used to be the nicest ones at the mall, too.
Ever think about flushing your cell phone so you can't be called while you're....you know, busy? Check out this funny article by Amy Borkowski in the NY Daily News: http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/2007/12/31/2007-12-31_cellibacy_60_days_without_a_cell_phone.html