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Monday, October 11, 2010

Happy Columbus Day!

            Happy Columbus Day to my friends in Spain, Italy and the United States!

 Columbus Day is the glorious celebration of the discovery of America by Christopher Columbus in fourteen-hundred-ninety-two. I remember that date because when I was a child in elementary school, I was taught the rhyme: Columbus sailed the ocean blue in fourteen hundred ninety two. We might forget the year the Declaration of Independence was signed, but American schoolchildren never forget Columbus.

Nor should we. After all, Christopher Columbus discovered America!

NOT! Archeological evidence shows that the Vikings had landed on the North American continent centuries before Columbus had even been born.

NOT! Actually he discovered the Caribbean island of San Salvador. Close enough, right? The fact that he thought he was in Asia is irrelevant. I’m sure the indigenous people of San Salvador didn’t mind being called “indians” as a result of this misconception. (Note: The people who lived on the island when Columbus “discovered” it were the Arawak. They called their island Guahanal. Yes, this can be placed in the category of Totally Worthless Information or TWI.)

In all, Columbus’s journey to discover a shorter route to Asia from the Iberian Peninsula was an EPIC FAIL. He didn’t find Asia, and he didn’t discover America, even by accident.

            So enjoy your holiday today, my friends, and raise your glass in a toast to Christopher Columbus. May all of your epic fails be as successful as his!

2 comments:

  1. What holiday? Kansas stops for no explorer! Schools, offices, even the public libraries remain open.

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  2. What? Kansas chooses not to celebrate the beginning of European domination over the Western Hemisphere? How very PC...

    ReplyDelete