“Do you suppose the Queen comes out to skate?” My husband walked away from me, pretending that he had never met the American twit who had just asked such an irreverent question. I swear to you, I didn’t realize I had used my “teacher voice”, the one that will instantly quiet a room of noisy 7th graders. Oops…
We (I’ll include my husband here, even though he was not currently acknowledging my existence) were in Windsor, standing directly across from the entrance to the castle. Normally, ice skating would not have been a topic of conversation, but a young man had just handed us a flyer advertising the upcoming event “Windsor on Ice”.
My American readers are smirking even now. You, like me, are picturing all those shows on ice that you’ve seen over the years. You’ve seen Big Bird and Elmo, Cinderella, Mickey Mouse, and even Santa Claus “on Ice”. Is it that big a leap to picturing the Queen appearing in one of those shows, clad in royal robes and her crown?
Apparently it is, according to my husband. Admittedly, the Queen is elegant and refined and would probably never stoop to taking such a job, no matter how many pounds it costs to heat that huge castle, to feed and pay the 200 or so people who live and work on the grounds, and to entertain visiting heads of state. Her expenses must be enormous, don’t you think? I would think a second job might come in handy.
Further inspection of the flyer, however, revealed that “Windsor on Ice” is not a show, but an opportunity for locals to ice skate on a rink that will be situated so that they have a view of the Thames on one side, and a view of the impressive castle on the other. It does sound lovely, doesn’t it? Maybe the Queen will come out and skate with her neighbors. I’m sure she’d have a nice time.
As for me, I’ve decided to propose the idea of “Washington on Ice” to my elected representatives in the Federal government. How much would you pay to see President Obama and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi perform in an extravaganza of music, lights, and daring skating jumps? I bet we could pay off that enormous national debt in no time!