Monday, December 6, 2010

Toothpaste Tubes and Other Weird Quirks

            “I’m going to throw this away for you.”

            “Excuse me?” I mumbled around the toothbrush in my mouth.

            “This tube of toothpaste is empty. I’m going to throw it away.” My husband picked up my tube and headed for the bathroom trash can behind me.

            “Nah uh!” I protested, inadvertently spitting white flecks of toothpaste on the mirror.

            “It’s empty!” he responded, dangling the tube by thumb and forefinger over the can.

            I rinsed once. “Not empty.”

            “You can’t possibly get even one more toothbrush full out of this tube.”

            I rinsed again and spit with gusto. “There’s at least a couple more days of toothpaste in that tube. You just have to squeeze it the right way.”

            “No, you just have to squeeze it the right way. I would get a new tube of toothpaste.”

            “I like to make sure I use it all. I don’t know why you’re giving me a hard time, anyway. You continue to use rechargeable batteries when you only get 10 minutes out of a full charge.”

            He was immediately defensive. “Rechargeable batteries are expensive. Toothpaste is cheap. It’s not the same thing at all.”

            “If you say so.”

We smiled at each other in the bathroom mirror, and he handed my nearly empty tube of toothpaste back to me. “You’re weird.”

“Right back atcha,” I answered. “Wanna kiss me? My breath is minty fresh.”

            He laughed. “How could I resist an offer like that?”