“OMG! I so need one of these. You can give it to me for my birthday! It’s perfect!”
Chris leaned over my shoulder to look at my computer screen. “That wouldn’t go very well with all the art we picked up in Asia. It would be out of place in our living room.”
“Well, sure, I mean, we’d have to redecorate the room.”
“What goes with something like that?”
“Ah, ‘the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain.…’ You’re right. Purple curtains are just the thing.”
“We could put up wallpaper that looks like dungeon blocks. Then we’d have to get rid of the carpet and put down dirt instead.”
He looked at the stained living room carpet and commented, “We could just throw more dirt on the Coke Zero stains then, instead of having someone in to clean the carpet. Sounds cost effective.”
“I knew you’d like it! A goth re-do of the living room is the perfect birthday gift.”
“I’m afraid I missed it for this year, Vic. Your birthday is today, you know, and I already got you something. How about scheduling our redecoration project for your birthday next year?”
I thought for a moment. “That’s probably even better. Next year I’m going to turn 50 and life as we know it will be over. I’ll need a coffin sofa for practical reasons by then.”
Chris rolled his eyes. He was approaching his 50th birthday in March with an upbeat attitude that I simply did not understand. “Whatever. By the way, how much is the coffin?”
“Not too much,” I lied.
He scrolled down to the pricing information and whistled. “I’ll get you one if you really want it, but I warn you right now I’m going to have you buried in it. You will be living with that piece of furniture for all of eternity.”
That was a pretty deep concept, and I was pretty sure I didn’t care for it. “Never mind, then.”
“Do you want to open your birthday present now?” He pulled a small box from my favorite jeweler out of his pocket.
I smiled. Happy birthday to me. Life is good.
If you want a coffin sofa, you should order soon. The company is only making 3 of them and one of them is mine. (Just kidding.) Here's the link: http://www.geardiary.com/2011/01/26/updating-your-homes-furnishings-autum-designs-has-a-couch-that-is-to-die-for/