Friday, March 25, 2011

Life on Mars Destroyed by Capitalism!

            “Did you know that Mars doesn’t have life because capitalism destroyed it?”

            “Really? That seems a bit far-fetched to me,” my husband answered, looking up from the latest issue of Astronomy magazine. “You’d think something like that would have been on the cover of my magazine.”

            “I know, right? Apparently Venezuela has discovered that capitalism destroyed all the life on Mars. Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez made the announcement today.”

            “I don’t believe you can count Chavez as a credible source, Vic. He’s nuts!”

            “Well, I don’t know. Here’s what he said: ‘I have always said, heard, that it would not be strange that there had been civilization on Mars, but maybe capitalism arrived there, imperialism arrived and finished off the planet.’ Do you really think that’s nuts? Maybe the guy has a point with all that capitalism/imperialism stuff.”

            “If you say so,” my husband shrugged.

            “Just picture it – little green men making stuff and selling it to other little green men who use the stuff to make other stuff. The next thing you know, all those little green men are living in fancy houses, driving expensive cars, and contributing to little green manmade global warming. Poof goes the planet!”

            “Now you’re nuts,” my husband laughed.

            “I guess you’re right,” I reluctantly agreed. “It does make a great story, though. I can hardly wait to hear what Chavez has to say tomorrow!”

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