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Friday, April 15, 2011

Julius Caesar and the Ides of April

            “You know, the fortune teller should have told Julius Caesar to beware the ides of April instead of March.”
            Chris chuckled. “That wouldn’t have helped him much, considering that he died on March 15th.”

            “Shakespeare could have used poetic license and had Caesar die in April instead,” I answered. “It’s not like he cared a whole lot about historical accuracy anyway. He was all about the entertainment value.”

            “True. But why does it matter if Caesar died in March or April?”

            “April 15th is the day we render onto Caesar that which is his, so to speak. If Caesar required every citizen to fill out reams of paperwork and fork over a significant sum of gold coins in taxes on April 15th, it would make sense that he should beware. Some poor taxpayer was bound to get irate.”

            “I see where you’re coming from.”

            “April 15th is not a good day for me, your average poor taxpayer/paperwork-filler-outer. I think the US government is as out of control when it comes to taxes as Caesar was. I’m tired of paying for Caesar’s new gold chariots when my chariot is ten years old.”

            “I hear you.”

            “I’m sick of paying for an education system that doesn’t work, bridges that collapse, social programs for the ‘less fortunate’, and other people’s random pork projects. Something has to give and it’s not me. I’ve given till it hurts!”

            “Got it.”

“I thought the government was just supposed to provide for our common defense and promote domestic tranquility. As the owner of a small business, I’m not feeling the tranquility.”

“I understand completely. I do have some good news for you, though.” My husband patted my hand comfortingly.

“You do?” I perked up.”What is it?”

“It’s some sort of holiday in the District of Columbia today, so our taxes aren’t due until Monday, April 18th.”

“That’s your good news? Are you kidding me?”

“You get to keep the money you earned for a few more days. That’s good, isn’t it?”

“Uh...sure. It's peachy.”

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