Friday, May 20, 2011

Watch Out for the Exploding Watermelons!

            “Hey, Gloria! Look what I brought for the party. It’s very rare and precious, so be careful with it.”

            “This weighs a ton.” Gloria unwrapped my gift. “Oh! It’s a watermelon. You shouldn’t have.”

            “It’s for dessert, of course.”

            “Of course it is,” Gloria agreed. We had met for the first time in Beijing, China, despite living within 10 miles of each other in Georgia; we’ve been BFF’s ever since. We often joked that every meal we had eaten in China had ended with watermelon. I don’t think either of us has eaten a slice of watermelon since. “What I want to know is why this watermelon is so rare and precious.”

            “Well, if we were in China, we wouldn’t be eating watermelon tonight. The farmers there put some kind of accelerated growth hormone on their watermelon plants and the watermelons all exploded. 115 acres of watermelons blew up! I bet there was pink goo everywhere. Don’t you wish we’d been there to see that?”

            “That must have been awesome,” she said, eyeing my watermelon suspiciously as she put it in the kitchen sink. “You didn’t bring me an exploding watermelon, did you?”

            “Of course not. At least, I don’t think so. This one was grown right here in Georgia.”

            “It was so…sweet…that you brought it. Yum!”

            I snorted. “See that little hole there in the side of the watermelon? That’s where I added something to improve the taste.”

            “What did you add?”

            “A bottle of Bacardi’s finest.”

            “A whole bottle?”


            “I vote we don’t wait to eat it for dessert. Let’s make it an appetizer instead.”

            “I like the way you think. See, I told you that was a rare and precious watermelon.”

            “Pure pink gold, sista.”

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