Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Did I hit them all today? I think I did. Sex, Politics, and Religion

            The wrap-up of ex-Representative Anthony Weiner’s headline-making sexting scandal as well as his subsequent resignation from the U.S. Congress has finally been relegated to below the fold of the metaphorical newspaper, perhaps even shoved into a short column on page 25 between the obituaries and the ads for Viagra. It’s about time.

            Of course, Americans were titillated by the story, which is one reason it had such staying power.  Weiner-gate jokes practically wrote themselves. We do love a good political sex scandal to take our minds off of the depressing news about the economy et al, don’t we? When ABC finally stops showing All My Children, I suggest that they fill the time slot with All My Congressmen. And to think that we once thought CSPAN was boring!

            These political sex scandals make Americans look like Puritanical idiots in the eyes of the rest of the world. I remember taking a trip to Ireland during President Clinton’s “I did not have sex with that woman…” scandal and having to defend the impeachment process. As we all know, Bill Clinton had the right to share his cigar with any consenting adult. Yes, he had that right even if he was smoking it in the Oval Office. He did not have the right to commit perjury in a court of law. That was the illegal part. Try explaining that to a bunch of Irish gentlemen in a pub after a few rounds of Guinness. They thought Bill’s wife should have smacked him upside the head with a broom and been done with the thing. You can see their point, really.

            I believe that the way to stop these embarrassing sex scandals is to elect people who have integrity and intelligence. We could elect…well…how about an Amish president? Except for Willard Yoder, who got himself in a spot of trouble when he was caught sexting a minor girl yesterday, the Amish seem to have…. You’re shaking your head. OK, so maybe that’s not a good example.

            How about you? You have integrity and intelligence. Please consider running in our next elections. For any open office. Uncle Sam needs you!