Monday, June 13, 2011

A Really Cool Job Interview Strategy

            “What are your expectations if you are offered a position?” The man in the black pinstripe suit looked down at some paperwork in his lap. His suit was perfectly tailored for him, the cuffs of his white shirt protruded from his sleeves the exactly correct length, and he had a white handkerchief tucked into the breast pocket. His dark hair was slicked back and he sported a thick gold chain instead of a tie. He looked like a middle level Mafioso. I hoped the girl across from him was going to think twice before accepting any job he might be offering.

            “I’m looking for a partnership….” She managed not to look irritated when he took a cell call right as she began to answer. She was young enough to have ordered a grande frappuchino with whipped cream and caramel syrup at a job interview, and young enough to look fabulous in a black suit, hose and high heels. She scribbled something on the legal pad on her lap, sat back in her armchair and crossed her legs.

            He cut his call short, and focused his attention on her. On her legs, that is. She smiled. I got the feeling that she was older than she looked. “I’m interested in becoming a partner.”

            His eyes snapped up to her face. “A partner?” He checked the paperwork on his lap, and came up with nothing.

            “I’m looking for a firm in which I can invest both my time and my money. What does your firm have to offer me?”
            I hid my chuckle behind my latte cup. Her attitude screamed lawyer. She was now interviewing him. If I ever get into trouble, I want that girl to represent me.

He appeared to have been smacked on the back of the head with a two-by-four. He narrowed his eyes and looked at her – really looked at her – for the first time. He had underestimated her, and I could tell that he wouldn’t do that again. “Maybe we should finish this interview at the office,” he suggested.

“Sure,” she said, opening the calendar program on her IPhone. “Tomorrow at 10 works for me, or I can fit you in Wednesday at 4.”

 He chose Wednesday at 4, gathered his files and his bottle of Perrier (I didn’t even know that Starbucks sold Perrier), and hustled out the door.

She sat in the armchair and sipped her coffee for a while. Her hand shook just the slightest little bit as she entered the appointment into her completely empty calendar.

            I was totally impressed. It was the best job interview I’d ever seen, and since I spend a considerable amount of time writing at Starbucks, I’ve eavesdropped on a lot of them. You go, girl!