Wednesday, June 1, 2011

The Reporter and the Flat Tire

            You know it’s a slow news day when the top news is about a flat tire. Yes, it’s true. A reporter for First Coast News in St. Augustine, FL was delayed by a flat tire while on her way to an assignment. Unable to report on the news she was supposed to supply, she reported to those watching on TV and internet that she was having transportation difficulties. Her report included video of the damaged tire and was very thorough. Kudos, my friend, for finding something to fill in what would otherwise have been 30 seconds of dead air. You really think on your feet, girl!

            I, unfortunately, do not even have anything as mundane as a flat tire to report to you today. My life is boring in comparison. Let’s see…I only had to clean up puppy pee once this morning. I suspect you don’t want to hear about that, but I will tell you that we are making great progress in the housebreaking department. Great…um…progress.

I had lunch at a Chinese restaurant with my husband. The waitress thinks that my husband and I are cute. We eat there every Tuesday at noon, and we both always order the same thing. He gets Kung Pao chicken. It’s not that I don’t like to try new foods, mind you, I just happen to like the cashew chicken. I am so not in a rut.

My friend Lily was feeling well today when I visited her at the nursing home. We had a nice visit. The highlight was learning that both of us are indeed smarter than 5th graders. It does make us wonder about the future of the country, though, that many of the contestants are not. Today, Bethany somebody from Real Housewives of New York couldn’t tell us how many stars were on the first official US flag. Yes, she said 50. She’d never heard of the thirteen original colonies and Betsy Ross? Bethany is exceedingly rich, while I squeeze out every last bit of toothpaste and take my own cup to Starbucks to save a dime. What’s wrong with this picture?

Now I’m at the office – my favorite Starbucks in Snellville – trying to think of something witty and profound to write.  You can judge for yourself how that’s working out for me. Sigh.

I guess I’ll go home and take the puppy outside, where hopefully he will do his business. If not, I’ll give you an update in my article on Friday.

            JUST KIDDING! I’m sure that between now and Friday I’ll think of something witty and profound about which to write. Have I ever let you down? I mean other than today, smarty-pants. Sigh.