Monday, September 5, 2011

The Ghost in the Pipes

            For the last 13 years, I’ve simply taken it for granted that my house was haunted. The weird noises, the rattling pipes, the things that went clank in the night – all of that clearly added up to “ghost”, right? Right. What else could possibly cause those phenomena other than a ghost?

            The spirit and I got along pretty well, I thought. Yes, he (or maybe she) was noisy at times. The rattling chains consistently followed the flushing of a toilet, a washing machine cycle, or the shower being turned off. My ghost definitely had an affinity for the house plumbing. I would smile and wonder if Moaning Myrtle had left Hogwarts in order to take up residence in my house in Georgia. Sometimes, I’d even talk to her when nobody else was home.

            Yesterday, a leaky faucet in the kitchen sink brought our ghost face-to-face with the nemesis of all spirits who live in water pipes. John, a professional exorcist/plumber, replaced the leaky faucet and then tackled the ghost haunting the pipes. A few quick twists of his wrench and the spirit “decided” to move on. There was none of the fuss that other exorcisms seem to have, at least from what I’ve seen on TV. It was a bit disappointing, to tell you the truth.

John claimed that the noises had been caused by high water pressure in the pipes. Once the pressure was turned down, the noises vanished. Of course that’s what he would say. He wasn’t going to admit to being a ghostbuster, was he? By finding a scientific excuse for the noises, he avoided having to respond to skeptical clients who would simply refuse to believe that their plumbing had been haunted by a spirit. I can’t really blame him, but I wish he had been honest with me. I would have liked to have known more about the ghost who had lived with me for so many years.

            So now I live in a ghost-free zone. I know that John made the right decision when he exorcised our ghost, but I kind of miss the rattling and clanking of the pipes. Goodbye, my spirit friend. I wish you all the best.


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