Wednesday, September 7, 2011

The Presidential Candidate Dog-Walking Test

            Are any of you as underwhelmed as I am with the current crop of presidential candidates? As I listen to the rhetoric, I find myself thinking that I wouldn’t hire any of the front-runners to walk my dog.  Some of them would get distracted by something shiny and wander off, leaving poor Wreck to fend for himself. Others would “forget” to return my dog to me when they were finished walking. The rest – and you know who they are – would ignore the law requiring pet owners to scoop the poop and dispose of it in the proper receptacles.  The result of this particular problem is obvious. We will end up with piles of doggy doo left where other American citizens will step in them. If you can’t trust a presidential candidate to walk your dog without leaving a mound of poop on the sidewalk, how can you trust him or her to be an effective president?

            This is not a new problem. Former presidents have left considerable quantities of poop behind them when they left the office. Nixon may have always cleaned up after Checkers, but he left Watergate doo-doo for others to clean up. Clinton’s lab Buddy left tiny piles compared to the hills left by the impeachment hearings. President Obama is working on building his own Rocky Mountains of poop with his Socialist agenda, notably Obama-care and redistribute-the-wealth economic policies. It won’t be enough for our next president to carry a small plastic grocery bag in his pocket; our next president will have to carry a shovel and a 39-gallon heavy-duty trash bag with him wherever he goes!
            We need to elect a president we can trust not only to walk the dog and clean up the new poop, but who can also clear away the smelly old poop. That’s a Herculean task! Are any of the current candidates prepared to take on this job? I haven’t seen any signs that they are.

            So who are you going to vote for in the primaries? Or perhaps more to the point, which one of the candidates would you trust to walk your dog?


  1. I would let Ron Paul walk my dog, but I'm a little worried that my dog would come back wearing a tinfoil hat.

  2. At least the dog's thoughts wouldn't be available for politicians and other alien life-forms to read! I might need to get a tinfoil hat for myself. LOL


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