Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Vote for Me!

So what do YOU think the major problem facing the U.S. today is? If you believe, as I do, that the economy is our biggest problem, I suggest you vote for me. I am the solution you've been seeking.

You see, I have the extraordinary ability to spin straw into gold. What our economy needs is more gold, right? I suggest putting the U.S. back on the gold standard, so that our paper money is backed up by something tangible. We can always print more paper dollars, but we know that flooding the economy with dollars reduces the value of each dollar. This causes inflation, and inflation is not the goal, is it? But gold? Now that's value you can hold in your hand.

You may have heard rumors that I expect payment in the form of your first-born children for my services. I have to state unequivocally that, although I did make this deal once, it was a mutually agreed upon arrangement. Unfortunately, I found the results of this arrangement to be less than satisfying, so you may rest assured that payment in children is no longer acceptable. Vote for me and I am sure we can negotiate terms later. After all, I only want what you want - an economically sound United States.

My name is...um...um...well, you know, and I approved this message.

Paid for by Citizens to Elect Rumplestiltskin.

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