Tuesday, May 7, 2013

North American Wood Apes

Sign on Pikes Peak Highway  
Photograph by Ashish S. Hareet/Wikimedia Commons
An important announcement follows. Now pay attention!

The organization formerly known as the “Texas Bigfoot Research Conservancy” will from here-on-out be known as the “North American Wood Ape Conservancy.” That is all.

Just kidding. Comments must be made, no?

First, it is a fact that the designation “Bigfoot” has become a derogatory term. Furthermore, people who hunt “Bigfoot” are often victimized by uneducated persons who make rude comments.

“Bigfoot” is normally pictured as an ape-like creature that walks on two legs and leaves enormous footprints in mud and snow. Since there is no scientific proof that these creatures exist, many people consider “Bigfoot” to be as real as ghosts, the Loch Ness Monster, and Donald Trump’s hair. But – and this is a BIG but – what if there is enough circumstantial evidence surrounding the mythology of “Bigfoot” to make a case that “Bigfoot” is indeed real?

Consider, if you will: What if “Bigfoot” is actually a “North American Wood Ape?” And what if the “North American Wood Ape” is actually a human genetic “cousin” or even an evolutionary ancestor of Homo sapiens? What are the anthropological and sociological ramifications of finding such a living creature? Further, are people who seek the “North American Wood Ape” as barmy as the people who seek “Bigfoot?”

This is a serious issue that deserves some serious consideration. Until proof is found of the existence of either “Bigfoot” or a “North American Wood Ape,” I believe that it is only fair to err on the side of politeness. I, for one, will now refer to all such animals and/or imaginary beings as “the creatures formerly known as Bigfoot.”